Written by: Rebecca Kangwa, LMHC

We’ve all heard the buzzwords: minimalism, decluttering, conscious spending. And yes, an organized closet and creating a budget can feel amazing. But there’s a fine line between living simply and denying yourself things you actually need.

At The Gold Mind, we talk with women who find themselves struggling with underconsumption to a point where cutting back starts to hurt, not help.

What is Underconsumption?

Underconsumption isn’t just about money. It can mean:

• Skipping meals to “save time” or calories
  
• Not getting new clothes and wearing damaged or the wrong size clothes
  
• Never taking vacations, even when you have time saved up
  
• Saying “no” to small treats like coffee with friends
  
• Refusing help or support because you “should be able to do it yourself”
  

On the surface, it might look responsible. But underneath, underconsumption can be a sign of fear, anxiety, or feeling unworthy.

How It Hurts Your Mental Health

When you constantly deny yourself, it can leave you feeling:

• Deprived, self-loathing, and resentful
  
• Disconnected from joy
  
• Exhausted from always “pushing through”
  
• Unworthy of comfort or pleasure
  
• Isolated from friends and experiences
  

Sometimes, underconsumption becomes a way of punishing yourself or trying to feel in control when life feels chaotic.

How Therapy Can Help

At The Gold Mind, we help women explore the beliefs that keep them stuck in underconsumption. Therapy can help you:

• Understand where the urge to “do without” comes from
  
• Learn to give yourself permission to enjoy life
  
• Find balance between saving wisely and living fully
  
• Reconnect with joy without guilt
  

Because you deserve more than just “getting by.” You deserve to thrive!

Feeling like you’re living on empty? Contact The Gold Mind. Let’s help you find balance without sacrificing your happiness.

Written By: Rebecca Kangwa, LMHC, Founder

We’ve all been met with hard decisions that make us think: Am I compromising… or settling?

In love, work, or friendships, knowing the difference can save you years of regret. At The Gold Mind, we help people figure out what they truly want and what’s worth being flexible for.

What is Compromising?

Compromising means making changes to find middle ground, without giving up your core values. For example:

• Choosing a vacation spot you both enjoy
  
• Agreeing to alternate holiday plans with your partner’s family
  
• Letting your friend pick the restaurant this time
  

Compromise means you’re flexible, but still honoring who you are.

What is Settling?

Settling means accepting less than what you truly need or deserve, usually out of fear or self-worth. Like:

• Staying in a relationship where you feel devalued
  
• Taking a job that drains you because it’s “safe”
  
• Keeping friends who don’t respect your boundaries
  

Settling leaves you feeling small, resentful, or disconnected from yourself.

How to Tell the Difference

Ask yourself:

• Am I sacrificing something important to me?
  
• Do I feel respected and valued?
  
• Is this decision rooted in love or fear?
  
• Will my future self thank me for this choice?
  

If the answer feels heavy, it’s likely settling. If it feels fair and mutual, it’s probably compromise.

How Therapy Can Help

At The Gold Mind, we help people:

• Clarify their values and non-negotiables
  
• Build confidence to speak up for what they want
  
• Let go of fear around saying “no” or leaving situations that no longer fit
  
• Learn healthy ways to compromise without losing themselves
  

Because you deserve relationships and a life that truly reflects who you are.

Struggling to tell if you’re settling or compromising? Let’s talk at The Gold Mind. Together, we’ll help you choose a life you love.

Written By: Rebecca Kangwa, LMHC

As the years, and the rent increases, go by, I learned something no one puts on Instagram: for many New Yorkers, the real city that never sleeps is your mind, worrying at 3 a.m. about how to afford your life here.

Even people with good jobs can feel like they’re always trying to keep up. It leaves you thinking, how is everyone affording their lifestyle?!

At The Gold Mind, therapists hear this story every day: smart, ambitious women who love the city but feel quietly crushed by the cost of simply existing. Rent, groceries, subway swipes, hair appointments, birthday dinners, boutique candles you didn’t need but definitely wanted…it all adds up. 

The Secret Price Tag of “Living Your Best Life”

New York seduces you with possibilities. Fancy dinners. Fun weekends in the Hamptons. Chic work clothes. New grippy socks for Solidcore (Lucky Honey – you’re killing me!). 

Somehow it seems impossible to go outside and not spend at least $200 – and have not much to show for it.  And the worst part? Everyone pretends it’s normal.

Does this sound like you?

“Ok, let’s just split the check evenly!” –  when you didn’t get any cocktails.
“I’m taking the subway.” – when you wanted a cab and your sanity.
“No, I don’t need new clothes.” – when your closet looks like it’s stuck in 2015.

How Money Stress Messes With Your Head

Let’s talk about the mental side of this. Financial stress isn’t just numbers on paper. It’s staying up at night thinking about expenses. It’s skipping social plans because you don’t want the bill. It’s living above your means and then comparing your life to someone else’s highlight reel and still feeling inadequate.

Women often feel like they need to have the optics of everything (hot partner, amazing apartment, impeccable wardrobe, cool friends, lavish vacations, perfect body) or else they’re “losing” or not truly happy. They feel they’re failing or falling short if they’re struggling. Newsflash: that is a lie you’ve been fed to keep you in the rat race. 

Therapy Can Help (and It’s Not Just for “Serious” Problems)

Therapy isn’t only for trauma or panic attacks. It’s for women trying to juggle dreams, bills, and brunch plans. At The Gold Mind, therapists help women:

• Separate money shame from self-worth
  
• Manage anxiety and burnout
  
• Set and maintain healthy boundaries
  
• Remember it’s okay to want financial stability and a little joy
  
• Feel less alone navigating all of this 

Because here’s the truth: life in NYC can be magical, but magic costs money. And you deserve support while dealing with it all.

Feeling like the city’s price tag is weighing you down? Reach out to The Gold Mind. Let’s help you keep your mind and your wallet, a little more sane, one session at a time.